Hayley Derryberry

2003-04 Outbound to Germany

Date of Birth: December 23, 1985

Hometown: Jacksonville, Florida

School: Bartram Trail High School

Sponsor: Mandarin Rotary Club, District 6970, Florida USA

Host: Erfurt Rotary Club, District 1950, Germany

Hayley's Bio

This morning, as I was driving to school, listening to my Chicago sound track, and admiring how Richard Gere can hold out the word “Gun” for a straight 20 seconds, I thought about what it would be like if I removed all of my rear view mirrors. What if I just threw them out the window and focused only on the path ahead of me. I could have so much more concentration and ambition…, but in mid thought I had to turn and check my blind spot so that I could change lanes. What I’m trying to say is that no matter what’s behind you, you can’t ignore the past in order to move on to the future. In my case, I owe everything I am today to my past. Every person, every memory, has shaped me into the Hayley Layne Derryberry that is about to embark on what will be the most exciting adventure of my life.

I am the youngest of four sisters and three brothers. I have had the privilege of growing up in two wonderful, loving families because my parents were divorced when I was a baby. I feel like I carry a piece of each of my siblings in my heart everyday because each one is so different, and each has taught me valuable lessons that have shaped my character. I also grew up in a very small town in Tennessee called Cowan. When you live in a place where the number of livestock is more than the population, you learn a lot about how to get to know people, and you learn how to build life long friendships. I owe a large part of my character to the church I grew up in, Cowan First Baptist Church. CFBC was like my second home. I still keep in touch with the friends I made there. They are my brothers and sisters and I love them more than life.

w/ Beth before a football game	w/ Lindsay before Homecoming	School Play
w/ my niece Taryn	w/family at Christmas	w/Elvis in Panama City
at my going away party at Cowan	youth at Cowan First Baptist	me w/ my going away cake

September 22 Journal

Wow I can’t believe I am actually one month into my year. Germany is exactly what I expected and at the same time totally different. My host parents are great. They couldn’t be any nicer. It was really strange because when they met me at the airport my host mom was crying. I was thinking, "Wait a second, aren’t the moms supposed to cry when you leave not when you arrive?" My first week was so long. I never thought I’d make it through. It was just about the worst week of my life. I figured out that Germans are not like Brazilians or even most Americans. They are not warm and friendly. I had to make the effort to make friends. I have never been any good at that, and at first I wondered why on earth I thought I could be an exchange student.

Exactly one week after I arrived things began to pick up. My History teacher threw a welcoming party for me and Omar another American from New York. That’s when I had my first case of culture shock. The kids were all drinking alcohol on school property. Like right outside and even inside the building with teachers standing around. It was darn crazy. But that night is when I really began to make friends and get invited to do things.

I’ve really learned to appreciate Al and my Rotary in Florida. Here my Rotary hasn’t really done anything with me and the other exchange students. I wish I could be an exchange student in district 6970. But it’s ok because I’ve had to make friends at school rather than just other foreign kids. By the way it's really weird to be the foreign kid.

There is also a Canadian student named Nick. He always gives me a bad time about my southern accent, and a few weeks after I arrived we got another exchange student from Hungary. Her name is Dori. It’s been really great having a girl around.

It’s been difficult to force myself to learn the language because everyone speaks English. But I am picking up new things and I have promised myself that I am only going to speak German after October 1st. Wish me luck - it will be hard.

I am really beginning to love the German culture and the people here. I love how everything is so much slower paced than in the US. And all of the food tastes so much better. I think it is because of the time they put into it. I don’t even want to know how many kilos I’ve gained. And my city is great. Even though I don’t have my car I can still go anywhere I want by Trem or just walking. The trem is a street train kind of like a trolley and they go everywhere through the city. I never have a day where I’m bored. I can always go out and do things. My favorite thing to do is go to the Disco. I love to dance and it's great that you only have to be 16 to get in. I had thought that all of the clothes would be so expensive, but they're really not. I go shopping all the time. I love all the sweaters even if I won’t be able to wear them back home. But I’ve already began to feel at home here. I don’t even want to think about leaving. Right now all that matters is right now, and that’s a great realization to come to! And P.S. I want everyone to email me and tell me how they're doing (especially you kids in Brazil, you know who you are). My email is still and will always be thesewerminnow@hotmail.com. 

Hayley

October 18 Journal

I was thinking of a way to sum up all of my feelings here in Germany in a way that you Floridians can understand. OK, so here’s what I’ve come up with. I Feel... COLD!!! It is freezing cold here and only October. I am already wearing as many layers of clothes that will fit under my jacket and people are telling me that it’s only going to get colder. During the culture boot camp, we should have had something to prepare us for the difference in climate. But at least it gives me an excuse to do more shopping.

I didn’t get to go to Bavaria for Octoberfest, but there was a smaller Erfurter Octoberfest here in my town. I really liked it because it reminded me of state fairs that I used to go to in Tennessee. There were a lot of rides and games. I tried to find funnel cakes, but they didn’t have them. I settled for something similar to a candied apple instead.

I’ve tried speaking only German but that doesn’t always happen. My host family won’t speak any English with me anymore, which is really sweet, and when I go out I try to keep the conversations in German. I am learning a whole lot though. Right now I am just trying to pick up more nouns and things to extend my vocabulary.

I have to tell you about a DDR party that a friend of mine from school had. Well if you don’t know DDR is the name for the former East Germany the Deutchland Demokratic Republik where I live now. And my friends from school had a party to sort of remember what it was like to live in the DDR. When we arrived, if you weren’t born in the DDR you had to be sworn in as a citizen. And then everyone stood up and sang the DDR national anthem. One of the boys gave a short lecture about what the DDR was and about the last president and what it was like to live there. It was very educational. Then we watched an old cartoon from the DDR with no sound, on an old film projector. Then with an equal number of boys and girls, we drew names and had to get married. Once we were married, we played games to earn money for our family. For example, for one game two couples had to leave the room and then come back in with their legs tied to each other and search around the room for a hidden banana. The first couple to find the banana won 5 marks which could be used to buy food and stuff. This game was significant because the DDR was only allowed to import and export with other communist countries so the only fruit came from mostly Cuba, and bananas were very rare. We were also given stuffed animals that were our children, and then we had to sew clothes for them and had a contest for the best dressed baby. It was so much fun and an experience I will never forget.

I am beginning to feel very comfortable here and sometimes even like a native. Until, someone on the street stops me to ask something I don’t understand. But the other day a woman asked me how to get to Centrum. And I completely understood her, only I didn’t know how to get to where she wanted to go. But still it was quite an accomplishment just to understand.

My host parents know how much I like country music, and as an early birthday present they bought me tickets to a Gunter Gabriel featuring John Carter Cash concert that was in town. It wasn’t exactly the kind of country music I listen to. The first guy Gunter Gabriel is this German country singer. He only sang Johnny Cash songs, but ones that had been translated into German. It was really funny to hear “A boy named Sue” in German. I went with Dori the girl from Hungary and we were like the only young people there. And because we were in the front row, the Gunter Gabriel guy decided to keep talking to us and saying something about how young we were, but I couldn’t understand anything so I just kind of sat there with a goofy/embarrassed smile on my face. But when John Carter came on it was really good. He is Johnny Cash’s son and he does some more contemporary-old-time country music, if that exists. I really loved it. They played some songs that I knew, and it reminded me of home. My host parents were so sweet for doing that for me.

Well I guess that’s enough to give y’all a taste of what this past month has been for me. And if you ever want to really put yourself in my shoes just go stand in front of the refrigerator with the freezer door open wearing nothing but your skimpies. So long for now. Until next month. Tchüss! Viel Späss!

Hayley

November 24 Journal and Pictures

I’m gonna sum this month up as, ”Settling in”. I’ve got a steady group of friends and my usual places to go. I’m becoming very comfortable and more relaxed. I’m learning a lot of things about myself and growing up in a lot of ways. For example: Back home I hated going anywhere by myself, but here its becoming quite the norm. I walk or take the trem into town on my own and its no big deal. I’m also reading a lot more. I guess that’s what you do when you’ve already seen every episode of Seventh Heaven and now in two different languages. 

This month has been a lot of fun. When I last left off, it was just before Halloween. Halloween is just sort of starting to get big over here. I went to a party with some of my friends that have been to the U.S. Then later I found out that it and the DDR party were both experiments by two of my friends, Claudia and Steffi, for a thesis paper they had to write. We were all just guinea pigs for observation of social interaction among teenagers. But I don’t think anyone minded because we had a lot of fun in the process. 

Then we had a Halloween-type party at school. It was tons of fun. We had games, and bake sales, and costumes. The highlight of the day for me was when we auctioned off dates with some of our fellow classmates. It was really funny. Nick the Canadian was a big hit. I think he went for €10 to two of our teachers. I really liked being able to help plan and decorate. It made me feel useful. 

I haven’t done anything really big this month. Its mostly just daily stuff like hangin out with my friends. We go to the movies a lot, and to the disco. I really love to dance. Some of our common hang-outs include, Club 1, The Dubliner, McDonalds, Cinestar, and Anger 1.  What’s really cruel is that just as I’m getting ”Settled in” I have to uproot and move to another family. But I met them yesterday and I think I’m really going to enjoy it there. I guess I’ll have to tell you all about that in my next journal. And I haven’t been sending y’all any pictures so I’ll include those this time. Enjoy.

January 7 Journal and Pictures

Sorry I’m a little late, but as I’m sure you can guess I’ve been very busy with the holidays. When last we left off I was just ready to move into my new family. Well I’ve been here a little over a month now and I LOVE IT! My family is so great. I don’t think I could get a better one. I have now five brothers and sisters and I can hardly call them my host siblings. They are like my real brothers and sisters. The oldest Raphael is 20 then there are Tabea 18, Benjamin 15, David 13, and Miriam 9. My host dad is a doctor here in Erfurt and my host mom is just about the best cook I’ve ever known. I love her food, as the scales will tell. And what’s really cute is that everyone in the family can play an instrument. The house is always filled with music. Oh and I think before I mentioned that I wouldn’t have a television. Well I don’t even notice. Now I fill my time with like reading and stuff. Crazy, huh?

This month I had my birthday. I’m 18 years old now and lovin’ it. My hosts were nice enough to allow me to use their house to have a party. I was feeling a little homesick so I decided to do something tropical and ended up having a Hawaiian themed dinner. I cooked, yes COOKED, a 3 course meal for all my friends. It was really good, especially the coconut shrimp, MmMm… But because my birthday is on the 23rd, I had the party a little earlier on the 19th. I didn’t think anything of it, but here that is considered bad luck, and everyone made sure to tell me. But so far it’s been only good for me (knock on wood). I also got to celebrate on my real birthday with my family. They were really great about making me feel at ho! me.

For the first time, I got to experience Advent. We had a little thing in the kitchen where you light a candle every Sunday leading up to Christmas and when you do, the hot air rises and makes a little windmill-type thing with angels on it spin around and then the angels ding a little bell and the more candles you light the faster it goes and the quicker it dings. It was at times kind of annoying but now I miss it. It made the Christmas season last longer. And on the sixth of December here is Nicholaustag. It is a day when someone kind of like Santa fills the children’s shoes with candy or something. But for us Nicholaus came to our house and gave all us kids boots filled with sweets. It was a lot of fun. And I made a really cute Gingerbread house with my family. It tasted good too, and I didn’t even use glue. For Christmas, the house was very full and very loud. My host dad’s mother and brother came to stay with us. They were both a lot of fun. Without school we all had a lot of free time on our hands. I can’t even count the number of times I played “Uno”. And our tree was so cool. It had real candles on it instead of just Christmas lights. I thought it was really pretty but I was sad that we didn’t put it up until the 23rd. But we did get to open our presents a day early. That was cool. And we got our first snow. So far there hasn’t been much, but at least we had a white Christmas.

We just finished celebrating New Years. I had a lot of fun. A friend of mine had a party at her house outside of town. A bunch of us stayed there, and we danced-in the new year at a very small disco, something like the German form of a Honky Tonk. It was tons of fun. And here the tradition is to have a lot of fireworks. And they give gifts like four leaf clovers to wish luck for the new year. And yesterday I went ice skating for the first time since I was really small. But I didn’t fall down once. I was very proud of myself. We’ll have to go again sometime.

*Time Passes*

And now for something that I don’t really include often; that is, that what I’m learning from this year, or as some might call it, meaningless ramblings. You know the term, “No man is an island”. I believe that is true for everyone. We all grow up with a certain view point of the rest of the world, and we all carry with us a bias that affects the way we see things. Our bias affects the way we encounter situations and how we react to them. It affects the decisions that we will and are now making. Last year I read a book called “The Things They Carry” by Tim O’Brian. It was a book about the Vietnam War but more importantly about the men involved. What I learned from this book is that while all of the soldiers ended up in often the exact same situations, whether it be combat or just surviving in a totally new environment, they never turned out one the same as another. What made the difference for each man were the things he carried with him, not tangibly but figuratively. I’m learning that as well. These past months I’ve learned how to, in a manner of saying, lighten the load that I carry. I’ve had to strip away all of the unnecessary baggage in my life. I’ve stripped it down to only the bare essentials. Now as I walk through the city streets nearly nude, my view is no longer so largely obstructed. I see (and when I say see, I mean really see, not only that what is limited to the vision of our eyes) things now that I never knew man had the ability to behold. But those few things that I do still carry with me, those are the things that have become even more precious to me. For example, my family is still with me. I hear their voices now much stronger than ever when we were in the same room. God is still with me. Now not because I learned in Sunday School that He should be, but because I choose Him to be. And my pride in my country is still with me. I only hope that I present a good reputation of the American people. When I first came to Erfurt, there were five of us, five “Foreign Kids”. We all started on the same path. We came to many of the same hurdles and challenges, but we all made our own choices based on our own separate biases. And now, our paths are proving to be much different, but we are all learning one common lesson and that is ourselves. I am learning who I really am and always was, and that is making a huge impact on who I want to become.

Hayley

February 26 Journal and Pictures

I can’t believe I’m already “over the hill” so to say of my exchange student year. Everything is exactly what everyone said it would be, but with its own little flare of me mixed in. My German is really good. I hardly even speak English anymore. Which is really hard ‘cause everyone here speaks English and I’ve learned to use that as a crutch for my inabilities in German, but not so much now. A couple weeks ago I went sledding with a big group of my friends. It wasn’t the little down hill sledding that we used to do in Tennessee. Oh no, since I’m in Germany, we had to climb a whole mountain to go sledding. But I can’t complain. It was gorgeous. I’ve never seen so much snow in my entire life. The 9th was my little sister’s birthday. I played “Happy Birthday to You” on the piano. I’m proud. And the 10th was my middle brother’s birthday. We had Sushi and it was really good. I even helped make it a little. Last week I went to BERLIN. Pretty cool, huh? It was actually awesome. We saw so much stuff. My favorite thing was the Jewish Museum and of course Starbucks. That was for three days. Then the day after I got back I went to Weimar. It’s a little tourist town right next to Erfurt. Goethe lived and wrote there evidently. It was really pretty, but really cold. But then again its cold everywhere. Then the next day we went to Dresden. This city was gorgeous. And they tell me it was even more beautiful before the Americans bombed the bageezes out of it. Now I’m back in school and back in my old routines.

I have a theory. You know the saying that you can never step in the same river twice. (If not just watch “Pocahontas”) Well it’s the same for exchange students. You can never meet the same exchange student twice because we change everyday. Not just every day, but sometimes in a couple hours or just one moment. That’s why I’m a little reluctant to write in the journal that I keep. ‘Cause I’ll go back and read it and I think, “Who wrote this?” Sometimes I feel like the me in Florida and the me now are total strangers. Like what did those two people ever have to do with each other. And then one day I’ll surprise myself and I’ll feel like I never left home, or one day I’ll go all the way back to being the me in Tennessee. No matter how much I keep writing I know I won’t fully explain it. But I think the other exchange students know what I’m talking about. Sorry that I took so long to send in this journal. The me that prefers sleeping procrastinated a bit.

April 13 Journal and Pictures

Hello again. I take yet another break out of my fast paced German lifestyle to give y’all an insight into what I’m up to. Well let’s see…

When we last left our valiant heroine she was returning from many a travels abroad. Well lately I’ve stayed put. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t experienced anything here at home. As a matter of fact, I went to the Ega here in Erfurt where I got to see the Minimundus. They’re models of famous places around the world all like 1/25th of the size or something. That was fun. And the Ega itself was very pretty. There were a lot of gardens and a butterfly room.

For another experience I went to the new theatre here in Erfurt with my family. We saw, “Das Traumfrescherchen”. Translated it means the dream-eater. It was an opera about a little princes who had bad dreams and her father the king went in search of a cure so that she could sleep again. In his journey he found das Traumfrescherchen and the little girl had to say a poem to get him to come to her and then he ate all her bad dreams and everyone lived happily ever after. I also went with my friends to see another play but it wasn’t nearly as entertaining and I didn’t understand it and not just because of the language.

Also just this past week and for the next I’m on holiday. I guess it would be Spring Break. But it doesn’t feel like it because it still isn’t quite warm. But I got to experience how Germans celebrate Easter. And ya know it's about exactly the same way we do. My host sister did make a couple cakes in the form of a lamb and an Easter bunny. I’ve never seen that before. And on Saturday there was a duck run on the river. The little kids from our city bought rubber duckies and then launched them simultaneously down the river. The one that reached the end first won something. I don’t know what.

And I’ll be changing host families this week. I’m very sad as I’ve been with this same family for four and a half months now. Its kind of frustrating so late in my exchange to have to start all over again. But as every Rotary experience I’m sure it will be a good one.

This is the point in my e-mail where I should give some insightful words of wisdom. Well I don’t have any. I’ve been reading up on the new outbound class. All I can say is that I’m totally jealous. I wish I could go back to the beginning. Of course even if I could I wouldn’t dare change one thing. Even the smallest experiences are making the biggest impacts on my life! If you new outbounds are smart, y’all have probably been reading the journals from us current outbounds. So in mine I want to include my e-mail address for anyone who has questions… wait I already did that a few months ago. Well I’ll do it again anyway: thesewerminnow@hotmail.com 

Hayley

July 7 Final Journal

My year with Rotary has come to an end. This will be my final entry to close out this chapter of my life. I know I’m quite behind so I’m just going to skip the month of May, nothing too exciting happened then anyway, and I’m going to go straight to all that happened this past month.

In the first week of June I finally had my first event with Rotary. It was a camp in Northern Bavaria, one they’ve been holding for twenty some odd years. There I got to meet about fifty other exchange students from all around the world that were staying in different cities across Germany. We toured different cities in Bavaria including Nurnberg and Bamberg and learned about everything from the rise of Nazism to studying in a German University. But of course none of these things are what I think of when I recall this week of my life. During this week at Berg Feuerstein, surrounded by nature and sharing three showers among thirty girls, I met some of the most amazing people and made some of the strongest friendships that I know will last for years to come. I befriended some very special Americans, a couple Canadians to throw in a little spice, and some wild characters from Australia, all of which I have high hopes to see again. We were all amazed at how close we came in this one short week. I guess I can only say that there must have been something in the water.

Our friendships didn’t die up there on that mountain though. We all saw each other again in the weeks to come. The following weekend I was supposed to go to a campout with a neighboring district, but there was a bit of a problem with the trains, to say the least. To make a long story short, I didn’t make it to that weekend.

But then my dad came to visit me. It was so much fun to introduce him to my new family and my new home. We did a lot of sight seeing and I always found a chance to show off my German skills. But then Dad left and life went back to normal… yeah right.

The next weekend I joined District 1870 for their “Adventure Weekend”. And with the crazy cold weather and never ending rain, it turned out to be quite the adventure indeed. But what’s great is that I got to see many of my new friends again. We all painted t-shirts and went canoeing. It was great fun.

Then in the next week my friend Sarah from Australia came and visited me in my city. That was great fun. We watched Germany lose their final match and went out dancing. Then the following weekend I had two going away parties. The first was by my Canadian friend Nick whom I’ve known all year. We had a traditional Bratwurst dinner and just hung out at his house. The second was by a friend of mine from Indiana in a small town in Saxony. It was a very emotional evening. We stayed up all night watching the Goonies and enjoying every last moment together. The next day at the train station was all tears and goodbyes.

Then on Monday night I had my Abiball, which is the German equivalent of graduation and prom rolled into one. First they have a dinner with all of the parents where they say thanks to the teachers and play some games, then all the kids meet up at the disco for the dancing portion. Then Tuesday I visited Sarah again for her birthday, said my goodbyes there, and that night said my goodbyes to Nick and Omar. And Wednesday I had a luncheon with some friends from school and then dinner with my host family, and the next morning I was on a plane headed to Dallas Ft. Worth.

It’s amazing to recap now what all happened. I made enough friends and had enough experiences to fill an entire lifetime. And in a way I feel I did. The people in my life here will never understand exactly what I’ve been through, how I’ve changed. But am I sad that it’s over? No, just happy that I got to experience it.