Monday, October 17, 2011
04:57 AM
Why didn't I think this would be hard?
When people would tell me good luck, I didn't listen. When they told me I
was brave, I didn't understand. And when they asked me why? I thought to my
self, "Why not?". I still think that this is the opportunity of a lifetime,
but it is no longer the walk in the park that I thought it would be.
For the past ten months I had thought of this moment. I arrived at the
Marseilles airport and there they were. My host parents standing there with
their little white dog and two huge smiles. Of course I'd planned on what to
say and I'd "perfected" my French for this particular scenario, yet as they
asked my how my trip was etc , I was speechless. I could barely mutter a
clumsy "ca va" in response. how embarrassed I was but just so happy to
finally be in France!
During the two hour drive home I couldn't help but continue thinking to
myself that I was in France. The clouds I were seeing were French clouds,
the air, French air, and the mountains, well the mountains are
indescribable. I think I fell asleep for the majority of the car ride
because when I woke up it was only because we had arrived at my house. Now,
I had seen pictures before but real life is always so much better. It's such
a beautiful Spanish style house with a pool and a garden that would put your
grandmothers to shame.
So basically my first two weeks here were spent getting to know my host
parents and spending a little bit of time with my future host sister and her
friends. It was the longest summer of my life and I was really happy for
school to start. Of course now that I'm in my second week of lycee I can
only think about summer, but the grass is greener on the other side or so
I've heard.
My current host family lives in the village of Peipin which is 7
kilometers from the city of Sisteron where my lycee is. Sisteron is
everything you think of when you think of France. Little streets, archways
and alleyways, cobblestone streets. It's beautiful and it's also surrounded
by mountains! My first outing in Sisteron is one to be remembered. It was my
first week here and my host sister asked if I wanted her to show me the town
with some of her other friends. Happy to be invited anywhere I said yes. She
was so nice about showing me the things of Sisteron and teaching me certain
words and street names, but as it was, she was with her friends, and I spoke
no French. I felt invisible. I would smile and nod and really really try to
understand but my head was a mess. Every 5000 words or so they would repeat
something slowly or try to translate into English. The latter usually ended
in them giggling to each other about how funny it sounded. Although I didn't
know what they were saying, I was grateful that I was socializing "more or
less" and I returned to my house a happy camper.
Since that day it's been a whirlwind. I've experienced so much, so
little. It feels like I've been here a second and a lifetime. There's really
no point in me telling you that this month has been the funniest or happiest
month of my life. It has been truly amazing, but amazingly difficult as
well. Hearing people talk about how you're shy and quiet and "timide" when
you are actually really outgoing and talkative is hard. Standing on the
outside of a circle of teenage girls all talking so fast that you feel good
when you can catch one word of the conversation is hard. It's human nature
to have expectations and of course I had plenty of my own (though I tried
not to) before I got here. It hasn't clicked as easily as I thought it
would, but slowly and surely I'm finding my place in this beautiful country.
I can understand much more now than when I first arrived and I'm slowly
tweaking my accent
My first month has been better, and different than I expected, but hey,
is life ever as we expect? I think being surprised day in and day out is
what makes this whole thing worthwhile. A good exchange isn't having
everyday be perfect and easy. It's what you make of it. And when I return to
Florida, fluent in another language with friends from all over the world,
when I return with a broadened perspective and a hunger for more knowledge
and growth, when I return because I have to, and not because I want to, and
feel as though I'm leaving this place that I already call home, THAT is when
I will know that I put my all into this exchange and got even more out of
it.
Thank you so much Rotary. My life is changes, my horizons endless, and my
journey started thanks to you.
Thursday,
December 29, 2011
I suppose my complete lack of motivation to write this blog is a good
sign. I guess its all a part of integration. Regular old life isn't quite as
exciting as the first month in a foreign country, though there are still
"wow" moments for sure. One moment I find that everything is normal and the
next I'm literally caught by surprise by something that I have never seen
before. It's fascinating and exhausting all at the same time but slowly I'm
getting used to not getting used to anything.
Over three months have gone by. Its strange. I don't know how to explain
it because it feels neither long, nor short. Its just time. Time that I have
spent away from my friends and family and time that I have spent trying to
build this new life around people and things that are unfamiliar. At this
point I find myself thinking often, "will it ever feel normal?" my only
answer to that is that I wont know until I get back. In the same way that I
didn't really know what my life was before until I got here. That's one of
my biggest lessons that I've learned since I've been here. I now know how
much my family means to me. I know more of what my values are. I know less
of what I want to do with my life. I guess it's all about give and take.
I've been given so much and I can't be more grateful. Although I complain
and whine about my life here in southern France sometimes, I know that most
of time I do it just to have something to do. Thank goodness I now have a
guitar to take up some of my time.
Enough with all that. Lets talk about turkey!
My thanksgiving here was one to remember. I didn't have any plans
originally which made me sad because thanksgiving is one of my favorite
holidays! I tried to get in touch with some of the other exchange students
near me to see if the wanted to try to get together. Chris, a boy from
America told me that his host parents knew an American lady who owned a
restaurant who was cooking thanksgiving dinner. He asked if I wanted to come
with him and two other exchange students. I really really wanted to but the
only problem is that they live about 45 minutes from me and it was a
Thursday night. I asked my host sister if there was a bus I could take but
she told me that they didn't run at night. I was really sad that it wasn't
going to work out so I called Chris and told him. He was sad too but he said
that we would definitely hangout another time soon. About five minutes after
we hung up he called me back and told me that his host mother knew a couple
(an American woman and a French man) who were going to the restaurant and
who worked in my town! He told me that the couple were more than happy to
give me a ride there and take me back in the morning. He also told me that I
was welcome to stay at one of the exchange students houses that night. So I
was going to be able to eat turkey on thanksgiving and miss school! It was
too good to be true. I was scared to ask my host mom about missing school
but when I finally got the guts she reacted better than I could have
imagined. she said yes right away and told me that she was happy I was
getting a piece of home on such an important holiday.
Anyways, the food was delicious and just like home. It was such a
blessing to be able to have experienced such an American past time in my new
country. Also, Chris was so nice and told me that he was happy to lend me a
guitar for the year because he has three at his house now. I was honestly so
happy! I have been searching for a guitar this whole year to no avail and
finally in a perfect weekend it was just handed to me. I have been using it
so much and I don't think he knows just how much he helped me out.
Since then I've been working hard in school (hardly working...?) and
really focusing on learning my French. It is getting so much better which is
an encouragement and I always catch myself thinking how much I would love to
go back to my French 3 class and show off. I guess that can wait another
eight months.
Coming up I have London in less than two weeks and then Belgium shortly
after that. I'll keep you posted as best I can and I hope everyone is doing
well back on that side of the pond. Love you all
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